Shame on you

Perhaps AngryBritain is just a little more sensitive to it right now with Mrs AB about to bear fruit, but we can't help but notice the number of pregnant ladies battling to work on the Tube every day.

 

Any commuter into London will sympathise, at the best of times the Tube is a horrific place, cramped, hot, sticky and smelly. If you are really lucky, sometimes you might have an inch of 'personal space' between you and the perspiring Polish builder. Room to breathe. Bad things.

 

On the Jubilee Line at Westminster this morning my gaze fell upon a smartly dressed young ladies bosom, but not for the reason you might think. 'Baby on Board' read the badge on her lapel. A badge bearing the London Underground logo, 'Baby on Board' in clear blue writing above it.

 

Really?, Is this what it's come to?

 

Is Britain today so far removed from common decency that pregnant women, the mothers of our children and the future of Britain, need to wear a badge to identify themselves in the hope that this might persuade someone to offer their seat?.

 

And you know what the sad thing is?. Despite the badge, not one commuter offerred.

 

Shame on you Britain.

 

It goes without saying that had AngryBritain had a seat, he would have offerred it without hesitation. However, this morning we were comfortably tucked-up. In the perspiring Polish builders armpit. Which was nice.

 

AngryBritain is calling for a return to common decency at rush hour tonight. If you see this smartly dressed mum-in-waiting, or any other lady wearing a 'Baby on Board' badge, or one who you might suspect is pregnant (they are quite easy to spot, they look like ladies, with bigger tummies). Get your big, fat, lazy, immoral behind out of your cosy seat and offer it to her.

 

If you don't AngryBritain will find you. Capiche?

Home schooled

'Please ask your child to bring a box of tissues for communal use this week', were the words staring back at AngryBritain from the brightly coloured blue letter the 6yr old brought home from school on Friday. 

'Pardon?'

Horrified we sought solace in Twitter only to find that this wasn't unusual in today's education system. Tales of requests for sanitary wipes, left-handed scissors and picking up children from remote locations after school trips due to cost of bringing them back, were all fired at me across the Twitterverse.

Funny, but I was under the impression that we pay taxes to fund our children's education. No?.

One presumes that due to the increased cost of kitchens and new sofas for MPs, there is no longer sufficient budget remaining to provide basic items to complete a school day. Are we then, just one step away from actually teaching our children ourselves?.

I'm sure many other parents, like AngryBritain, also begrudge the mounted assault upon family time in the  evenings and at weekends. 'Read this with your child' 'Make that'. 'Donate, Donate, Donate'.

Only a couple of weeks ago AngryBritain found himself creating an Easter Bunny out of recycled Diet Coke cans (which was rather good, even if I do say so myself - see pic). This took up most of the weekend, while the 6yr old played Wii and looked on nonchalantly, her part done upon handing over the letter and cutting  some string for whiskers.

As many of you will know AngryBritain is less than 4 weeks away from becoming a dad. The daily battle to and from the office means I won't see the AngryBaby before I go to work. And if I'm lucky, and the Tube behaves, I may see my child for 15 minutes before bedtime. For those in any doubt, teachers or Education Ministers reading - This is not ok.

Parents go to work, teachers teach. That's how its always been. Parents go to work to provide for their children, so they can do nice things together in the evenings and at weekends. And pay the teachers wages. Children grow up fast.

Family time is precious. Let's keep it that way.

Not very clever

Ever been called 'not very clever' by someone in 'customer services'. No, me neither. Until today. Marbles Card appears foolishly to have just declared digital-war with AngryBritain.com.

 

The call was recorded for training and security purposes. They had an hour to respond. They chose to ignore it.

 

Let battle commence. See the first salvo below.

You saw it here first!

Viagra smugglers dump stash in the Thames!

Hope St.

If you read this column last week you'll know that AngryBritain had a little run in with the West Herts NHS Trust. Round 2 was duly scheduled for yesterday and we arrived bright and early for Mrs AB's appointments.

 

What a difference.

 

The first was with a lovely lady. Full of experience, wisdom and most importantly humility to Mrs AB's concerns. She listened, answered our questions, told us the no-nonsense facts about what we had requested and genuinely seemed to have the AngryBaby's best interests at heart. She listened, she listened hard and we appreciated it.

 

The second, was a kindly older gentleman. Just by looking at him you could tell he had bedside manner honed over many years of dealing with pregnant women like Mrs AB. He too listened to what she had to say, again told her the facts, offerred time to think about things and then left the door open for her to see him again before the AngryBaby makes an appearance.

 

Both of these people, in AngryBritain's opinion, did their jobs with the utmost care and professionalism, unlike the person last week who coldly shut the door.

 

These two have restored some of AngryBritain's faith in the NHS. There are still good people in the service, battling against the odds and bureaucracy to provide genuine patient care. You'll find a few of them on Twitter, and if you have an account you should have a look at @LucyKD @drsimonc @EmmaRhoyds

 

I'm sure a few of you caught The Hospital again last night on C4. This week it was the obese seeking surgery to cure their 'illness'. The upshot, gastric bands being given out like Smarties to people who could really just stop eating cake.

 

With this sort of madness, I guess it isn't really any wonder the NHS is in such a mess and some of those working within it have all but given up. But all the time people like the two Mrs AB and I saw yesterday, and those medical Twitterers are still working at hospitals around the UK, you never know, there might just still be hope.

NHS - No Help Service

'No'. 'No, I'm not agreeing to it, there's no medical reason'.

 

And that was that.

 

As regular readers will know AngryBritain is expecting, well not AngryBritain himself, though looking at his gut hanging over the top of his trousers you might think otherwise. Mrs AB is very pregnant, and a mere 4 weeks away from giving me my son, or daughter, and heir to this crap island.

 

Mrs AB you might say, is a bit of a hottie. Cute, gorgeous, petit and blonde with a peachy bum. In fact too good for a old, fat, balding misery-guts like me. To most outsiders one of those couples who you see and ask 'What's she doing with him? ...'

 

The AngryBaby is already showing traits from it's dad judging by the size of the bump poor Mrs AB is carrying around. Without going into too much detail the logistics of this human miracle don't appear to add up so we have a birth plan which we would very much like to stick too. And in this age of Patient Choice, we wrongly assumed that our decision would, while initially be fought, ultimately be agreed leading to a safe, calm and planned birth.

 

Determined not to fall at the first hurdle the AngryMan annonymously fought Mrs ABs case, pointing out the Patient Choice Charter and demanded a second opinion. Like a scolded schoolboy the consultant begrudingly agreed and Round 2 is early next week. We will be seeing the consultant midwife, then a further consultant who will hopefully agree to our request.

 

Some of you may have caught 'The Hospital' again on Channel 4 the other night. This particular episode followed teen-pregnancy 'victims'. Star of the show was 'Lisa' the overweight benefit-claiming chain-smoker who was offerred as much care as she needed, in the way she requested. And a house afterwards.

 

AngryBritain presumes that different NHS Trusts have different views on such matters and that the West Herts NHS Trust is a closed book on this matter. For now.

 

As an aside the AngryMan had to give his blood type. It seems we are B Positive. Oh, the irony.

Strictly Sod-Off

'Hang your dirty knickers on the line'.

 

Somewhat unsuprisingly McBroon and his cronies have resorted to 'juvenile' and unfounded smear tactics as they watch themselves lose their grip on power, and the cold hard reality of life in Britain today.

 

While the rest of us travel to jobs we hate, worried about how we will feed and clothe our children and whether we will still have jobs to go to tomorrow, behind closed doors at LabourHQ plans were afoot to concoct stories about the sex lives and mental health of Cameron and Co. in the blue corner.

 

'Spin doctor' McBride obviously had one too many in the Commons bar that day, on expenses, and set to work with the interweb. Presumably surfing YouPorn and LabourList before firing off a few choice words to the husband of Kate-Strictly-Bad-Ballroom-Garraway, Derek Draper.

 

Draper, no doubt feeling inferior to his TV-totty wife, saw his chance to take to the floor and perform a few spins of his own. Like a 'Red Rag' to a bull.

 

Unfortunately for them both, it never quite came off. Thanks to blogger Paul 'Guido Fawkes' Staines who received copies of these emails and broke the story on his blog (http://www.order-order.com/) the pages of the papers are filled with this sordid tale, opening Britain's eyes yet-again to the murky world of Number 10.

 

AngryBritain thinks it's a bit of the shame that the Red Rag blog McBride and Draper devised never got going: 

 

'Cameron has secret 4x4, 'Osbourne has crack and whore habit', Brown IS the Messiah ...

 

If there was a weekly phone vote for the Government we are pretty sure McBroon and his chums would have been voted off years ago and we very much doubt they would ever have been Brucie's favourites.

CashCow

It's taken me all day but I've found just the very thing to blog about. Part time working, bailouts and redundancies are common news these days for both UK and foreign car manufacturers. Uncertain jobs and futures are part of production line life as are stockpiles of unsold cars sit in holding areas across the UK.

 

AngryBritain, with his imminent arrival less than 5 weeks away, needs a bigger car to accomodate all the stuff that a little person requires on a jaunt out. Mrs AB has had the majority say in the final selection as it will be her who does the lions share of driving. Mrs AB is not easily impressed nor bothered about her choice of wheels. Not since her dream car, a Mini convertible was found to have the boot the size of a childs lunchbox and therefore dismissed until Baby AB is old enough to need only a Child Seat.

 

To cut a long story short the Nissan Cashcow seems to fit the bill, she's happy, I'll be happy at weekends. It has a boot big enough for both pushchair and shopping, and enough power not to have a man with a flag walking in front of it. As a little AngryBritain bonus, it's also a 'British car', designed and built in Britain, by Britons. Albeit with a Japanese badge on the nose.

 

So this bank-holiday weekend the hunt began in earnest. Variants were driven, spec choices made, part-ex's sorted and budgets discussed. Naturally we went to our local Nissan dealer (No names. Watford) and expected them, in this period of deep recession, to bite our hands off.

 

Not so.

 

Never before have I experienced such apathy, nor the sense that I was 'doing them a favour' whilst attempting to buy said £19,000 'cow. As a regular punter I offerred both a realistic budget expectation and a willingness to be sold to, but neither of these have so far resulted in me signing on the line.

 

As a dealer, the days of naming your sticker-price for cars is long gone. The internet has become a powerful and potent weapon in hunting down the deal you want. So that's what AngryBritain did, finding 2 examples of the same new vehicle on offer for £2000 less than my local friendly dealer.

 

As it stands currently despite this they won't budge, nor will I.

 

Is it any wonder car workers across the country are losing their jobs overnight?

 

Hmmm.

Can you dig it?

'Can you dig it?' sung the Mock Turtles into my ipod-ed-ears this morning as the escalator reached skyward into London Bridge station. The dreary trudge into the office on dirty public transport in complete contrast to the happy chilled out days of my early 20's when the Mock Turtles were 'in'.

 

Back then I had money in my pocket, a mobile phone the size of Paris, a tank full of petrol and hardly a care in the world. Life was good then and full of opportunity. The world was Brtiain's Oyster.

 

'Things can only get better' eh?

 

Fast forward 15 years and look where we are now. A broken shell of country, immoral, debt-ridden and so it would seem without a light at the end of the tunnel. Just look around you today, can you see one happy face in your office?. One person who knows their future is secure and that Britain is still full of promise?. No?, me neither.

 

You may have caught 'The Hospital' on Channel 4 last night. For me Britain today was summed-up by the drunk driver and his pals. On the night of the incident, not a Policeman in sight dealing with this smirking idiot nor seemingly a drop of remorse for tearing the back of his friends head off and nearly killing him.

 

Jump forward six months and both he and his almost-dead friend are back the pub. The drunk driver having lost his licence and been fined, now having a jolly good laugh about the whole thing. And the best bit, the half-dead friend looking forward to his sizeable insurance payout. What a jolly jape eh? ...

 

So how do we change it? AngryBritain.com doesn't have all the answers, for that we need you. We need to know what's wrong with Britain today from you the people it affects daily, and we need people to know about it. Please keep sending us your 'Beef' to angryman@angrybritain.com or via Twitter @AngryBritain and do tell your friends and colleagues about us. If you want to read what others have already said log on to www.angrybritain.com/beef.html 

 

We've sent a link to this blog post to both the hospitals featured in the programme last night, a little support to show them Britain does care and that we do appreciate the amazing work they do.

 

'Can you dig it?' maybe not, but you can certainly help make it better. AngryBritain.com

Lame Duck

This morning AngryBritain.com salutes the Anticapi-enviromentalists who were out in force on the streets of London yesterday causing havoc. Not.

The sum total of this warned Armageddon, a broken window of an empty branch of RBS. The bank 'we the people' now own. Well researched soap-dodgers.

The tube this morning had returned to normality, pinstripes, FT's and Rolex's in abundance, not I suspect from defiance of the mob, but from the laughable apathy towards yesterdays protests. So ineffectual were they that no-one cares today. Just like AngryBritain predicted.

Today the Angry Mob will attempt to descend upon the G20 Delegates at Excel where no doubt they will try to do something wild, like drop litter or smoke. And good luck to them, AngryBritain.com is sure it will really change the world.

Poor Effort. Must try harder. A very lame duck.

Cleaners to Platform 15

There appears to be some rubbish amassed at Liverpool St outside UBS ...

Please clear it away quickly, it's making the most terrible smell down there!

www.angrybritain.com