Wednesday 25 February 2009

Tax

'I've got some bad news for you' were the words waiting for me from Mrs AB, when I returned home last night. As she handed me the envelope emblazoned with the crest of the Hertfordshire Constabulary, I almost knew what was inside.

'Notice of Intented Prosecution', oh, and welcome home.

17 years blemish free driving wiped with a single shutter press by a sneaky bastard in a bush. Despite the NIP being sent to the wrong address, the incorrect name appearing, photographic evidence, in an action-replay-style, and calibration certificates (almost out of date), would leave it in little doubt that it was indeed AngryBritain.com driving at the time of the alleged offence.

So, by way of a public service and as a a two-fingered gesture to the Herts Constabulary and Three Rivers D.C, should you happen to find yourself driving along the B462 Aldenham Road, Bushey S/W of the Metropolitan Police Club (Funnily enough) travelling N/E, then look out for the sneaky bastard in the bush with the radar gun who's out there solely to swell the coffers of Three Rivers D.C while Britain falls apart around us. Today's picture shows the precise location of the sneaky bastard with the radar gun.

Kids are dying on the streets, but don't worry the police obviously have the resources to allow officers to sit around all day collecting taxes on behalf of McBrown.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering 42 in a 30 and no, I'm not proud of it. 3 Points and a £60 fine will leave a bitter taste in AngryBritain's mouth for quite some time to come. Obviously no 'Speed awareness' courses on offer in Herts ...

Avoid more tax people. Slow down, or invest in a camera detector.

Thursday 19 February 2009

Credit Crunch Lunch

We're sure you saw it yesterday but M&S are launching a credit crunch busting 75p Jam Sandwich this week.

Yes, you read that right a Jam Sandwich. For 75 pence. AngryBritain.com is so on board with that. But it does beg the question of how f*cking lazy must you be to buy a Jam Sandwich?

We're sure though that it won't be just any Jam Sandwich, it'll be an M&S Jam Sandwich.

We, rather like one of our followers on Twitter, is rather hoping that Mylene will be making Jam sexy again on our screens very very soon. Follow us on Twitter www.twitter.com/angrybritain

Ps, Do you like what we've done with today's picture. Clever huh? ....

Monday 16 February 2009

Give a little back

As regular readers will know, AngryBritain.com supports City Warriors, a white collar boxing club who in turn support Help for Heroes, a very worthy charity.

AngryBritain.com is proud to announce its official tie-up with City Warriors in it's new Corporate Responsibility section where we hope to be able to give something back to you, for your continued and ongoing support.

AngryBritain is confident that as a team we can mend Broken Britain

Check out the new section of the website here: www.angrybritain.com/responsibility.html

And today on Jeremy Kyle ...

.... we have Alfie Patten, 13, thought to be the youngest dad in Britain. According to this weekend's Express, he has 'Sired' - like a Stallion, a child by Charlotte Steadman, 15, in the sleepy seaside town of Eastbourne.

In a 'You couldn't make it up twist' there is now a contest to the child parentage, with two further fine specimens rushing to state that they too have shagged the childs mother. No doubt somewhere classy like the KFC on the seafront or behind the bikesheds at lunch break.

AngryBritain.com will be keeping a close eye on this story and will have the paternity test results after the break.

What really fired us up this morning though is the Church's take on this, Father Seamus Hester of St Gregorys' in Eastbourne said that 'They didn't go off and have an abortion, so they must have respect for human life'. Er, pardon, back up there Rev. If they had had respect for human life then a termination would have been the obvious choice. What life do you think this child is going to have when the combined age of it's parents is 28?

Oh, sorry, I remember this is Britain. It'll be the taxpayer that secures this child for life ...

Thursday 12 February 2009

Dented Pride!

Right, here's something I'm going to moan unceremoniously about because it's one of my pet hates and it really pisses me off.

To a lot of people, the modern car is little more than a way to get from A-B with the minimum of fuss in the fastest possible time. To others it's a part of them, connected to their soul, their pride and joy. AngryBritain.com falls into the latter category, you just ask my friends.

So, what I want to know is, why do some shitheads think it's okay to slam their car door into mine when trying to extricate their fat arses from their shitmobiles in car parks?. You know the gut wrenching feeling I'm talking about, right? The one where once there was a smooth unmarked body panel, now there is a panel with a dent in it. A special sort of dent that only shows up on very sunny days, or when your car is at it's cleanest. 

Mrs AB had this happen to her this morning in Tesco's in Watford. So, If the inbred who did this to her little black Fiesta leaving a large and expensive-to-repair dent is reading this right now, I wish you scurvy and impotence.

It might be a Bentley, or it might be banger but chances are it's someones pride and joy. So next time you need to squeeze your fat arse out of your car in a tightly packed car park, do the decent thing and do it gently. 

Is that too much to ask?

Rant over. Thank you.

Tuesday 10 February 2009

Books for British Kids 2009

Now, it's not very often that AngryBritain.com feels the need to share a joke email, but this one tickled us this morning. You can expect to see these on the shelves of Borders in time for Easter!







Friday 6 February 2009

Jade - Get Well Soon!

While sitting at home last night chatting to Mrs AB and flicking through the papers we were both drawn to the ever more depressing news about Jade Goody.

Jade, as I'm sure 99% of you are aware made her name on Big Brother and as a nation we've pretty much been tuned in to her ever since. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, but never less than interesting.

We all know she's made some mistakes, and has been slaughtered in the press for them, in fact her rollercoaster career has only really been rivalled by that of Kerry Katona.

What bugs AngryBritain.com is that despite the harrowing ordeal Jade must be going through right now, and doubtless having sold millions of papers off the back of her antics. Not one publication that I'm aware of has come out in support of Jade, or wished her well.

So, here it is - Jade Goody - Get Well Soon from all here at AngryBritain.com

No matter how you might feel about her, the fact remains she is a young woman, with two beautiful children for whom the future looks quite bleak. Chew that over for a while, and if it makes you think again perhaps you'll add a well wishing comment here on AngryBritain's Angry Blog.

Good-y luck Jade, as a nation once again, we are watching you.

Wednesday 4 February 2009

Avalanche!

Great to see Mayor Boris doing his bit to keep us Londoners safe today. If you wander under the gleaming curves of City Hall today you'll see a crappy little photocopied sign warning 'Watch out for falling ice'

Gee thanks Mr Mayor.

Considering that you normally shut More London off at the mearest whiff of danger, to which I am referring to that petrol powered behemoth you use to clean the windows, would it not be wiser to barrier off the dangerous bit under City Hall?

If the little melting Igloo that someone has built on the green next to you is anything to go by this lunchtime, certain death is sure to befall some unfortunate soul before the day is out!

This was a public service announcement by AngryBritain.com - Preventing death on the streets of London

Tuesday 3 February 2009

AngryBritain.com - EXCLUSIVE!

AngryBritain.com has been given exclusive first rights to an exciting announcement from one of it's supporters Orange Information Systems, a London based IT Services company.

Orange Information Systems are proud to announce the launch of their 'Streets to City' initiative spearheaded by their new HR & Marketing Director Catherine Younger.

Catherine has been with OrangeIS since it's inception and has been a key participant in it's exciting growth.  She has been responsible for the development and management of their strict internal processes and it's demanding recruitment program, ensuring high levels of client care are maintained.
 
With Catherine's excellent business acumen and skill-set, combined with her creative edge, she was the natural choice to spearhead the 'Orange Information Systems Sports Academy'.  Catherine's future role will be to focus on the OrangeIS 'Streets to City' Initiative, which will involve liaising closely with Hackney Council, Sports Action Zone (www.thesportactionzone.org), and the media.
 
Alan Edwards, Orange Information Systems MD, said "The aim of the 'Streets to City' initiative is to provide work experience and career opportunities that might not normally be available to underprivileged youngsters within our local communities"

To contact Alan or Catherine for more information on this hugely exciting project please call them directly on 0845 262 1919

Watch this space for more news as we receive it. As you know, AngryBritain.com is fully supportive of any intiative that will turn Anger into positive action.

AngryBritain.com 2009 - Breaking great stories before the big boys.


Monday 2 February 2009

It's only a bit of snow you know ...

Well, the AngryMan decided to brave the snow this morning to try and get into London alongside other hardy commuters, some 3 hours later I made it into the office - unlike the other 90% of my colleagues who are tucked-up cosily on the sofa with a nice hot cuppa and Richard and Judy. 

The pic on the left was the scene at Baker St tube at about 8.30am. Sardine anyone?.

It pisses me off no end that in this day and age a bit of snow can still wreak havoc across the UK. Granted, this might be the worst snowfall in 18 years, and yes it's pretty dire but even so, it's not like the forecasters haven't seen this coming. Where were the gritters?, the pavement clearers? and the tube drivers?

Snow fuelled travel chaos in 2009 isn't really acceptable is it? Come on Britain, sort yourself out!.

Can't wait for the journey home ...

AngryBritain.com - Braving the snow for you!