.... we have Alfie Patten, 13, thought to be the youngest dad in Britain. According to this weekend's Express, he has 'Sired' - like a Stallion, a child by Charlotte Steadman, 15, in the sleepy seaside town of Eastbourne.
In a 'You couldn't make it up twist' there is now a contest to the child parentage, with two further fine specimens rushing to state that they too have shagged the childs mother. No doubt somewhere classy like the KFC on the seafront or behind the bikesheds at lunch break.
AngryBritain.com will be keeping a close eye on this story and will have the paternity test results after the break.
What really fired us up this morning though is the Church's take on this, Father Seamus Hester of St Gregorys' in Eastbourne said that 'They didn't go off and have an abortion, so they must have respect for human life'. Er, pardon, back up there Rev. If they had had respect for human life then a termination would have been the obvious choice. What life do you think this child is going to have when the combined age of it's parents is 28?
Oh, sorry, I remember this is Britain. It'll be the taxpayer that secures this child for life ...