Tuesday, 31 March 2009

Defcon 1

This is a shot across the bows to all the tree-hugging-soap-dodgers heading to London tomorrow to cause havoc in the name of greed and the planet.

AngryBritain.com, like a few million others, travels into the smog-filled City on packed public transport everyday, not so that we can bathe in Cristal and puff on fat stogies, it's merely so we can pay our bills.

Like most working Londoners, AngryBritain.com is not a six-figure fat cat, so don't waste your time and effort on the likes of us.

Smashing up a Starbucks isn't going to help either. Think about it logically, how much do all those franchises full of foreign workers paying tax - because the likes of you, the soap-dodging-benefit-cheats, are too busy fannying about in London lighting Joss-Sticks outside the Bank of England, to do perfectly good jobs like that - contribute to the desperate UK economy?.

Nobody cares what you think, and two days of throwing toys publicly out of your prams isn't going to change a single thing. Not one iota. In fact all you will achieve is to suck a further £7m we don't have out of the economy to Police your stupidity. And delay the tube network.

Those of us allowed to go to work tomorrow will be in disguise and mixing amongst you, so watch out!.

If you spot someone cleary too old to be on a skateboard grinding around City Hall in civvies tomorrow, AngryBritain.com may well be among you.

Come say hi, I've got soap and a baseball bat shaped tree for you to hug.

Friday, 27 March 2009

Compare the Meerkat

I saved over £100 by comparing Meerkats! - Genuinely, I did.

So yesterday my car insurance renewal from Elephant dropped through the letterbox. This is my very favorite time of year. Another faultless (touch wood) year of traversing the congested camera-ridden roads of Britain to be rewarded with an increased renewal premium. Lovely.

For about as long as I can remember I have been insured with either Elephant or Admiral. A top money-saving-crunch-busting tip for those of you that don't already know is the Elephant and Admiral are in fact, the same company.

By flipping between the two each year you can almost guarantee yourself a massive saving yet effectively dealing with the very same cardboard Admiral or the equally crap man-in-an-Elephant-suit. (Probably the same bit-part actor!)

To confirm this I Compared the Meerkat last night, and cheapo-number 1 insurance was indeed on offer from Admiral. 

Hurrah for Meerkats! £100 extra to spend on beer. Or nappies.

God, what a crap blog post. Sorry. Good pic though.

Monday, 23 March 2009

15 minutes

You may have missed the bread last time around, but due to a non-paying bidder it's now re-available for a further 10 days in aid of Comic Relief. That and the fact it reached a paltry £10.50, which will barely feed a small, mouthless gnat.

In the meantime our friends at the Kent and Sussex Courier have picked it up and written nice things about us and what AngryBritain.com is all about, so here's a link to the full story.

Bid Now!, Bid Big!. This really is the last cheap loaf in Britain.

Bid here:

Thursday, 19 March 2009

Bid Now!

You may have seen it already but with just 2 days left we dont want you to miss out on the Last Cheapest Loaf in Britain. With £75bn in monopoly money being pumped into the UK econnomy, after the end of this auction you can expect Bread to rocket in price out of reach for most mere mortals. A little bird tells AngryBritain that Tesco is preparing to double their shelf length to accomodate the inflated prices.
Get in on the auction action now. As we right, its at £10.50
Bid now, Bid Big. This is cheap bread people.
Ps, If the winning bidder pays all/any of the final auction price it's going to Comic Relief!!

Monday, 16 March 2009

Imminent Death

Having spent the weekend feeling very rough while trying to control a 6 year old and appease a pregnant lady and now at our desk feeling not a whole lot better, AngryBritain.com would like you to share in his misery.
AngryBritain has Man Flu. And wants some sympathy.
Man Flu doesn't get very much press yet it has the potential to spread like wildfire and kill a man stone cold dead. Symptoms are sniffles, the odd cough and a lot of whining. For any ladies reading, these are the danger signs and should be treated in the same way as laddering a pair of your best tights. Immediate help is required and you should stop at nothing to make sure your man gets what he needs to nurse him through. If he makes it that is.
Tea, Toast and access to the TV remote should be available upon request, as should your 'special lady services'. The latter will undoubtedly help your man pull through, or at the very least take his mind off imminent death.
If you manage to nurse your man back to health you can be assured that normal service will soon be resumed and he will no doubt lavish gifts upon you for helping him survive this truly traumatic experience. He may even indulge any DIY fantasy you may have given his new lease of life.
AngryBritain.com is not sure if he will make it, this could very well be his last blog post so thank you for reading and we hope this has raised your awareness of this killer disease.
Now, can someone make me a nice cup of tea, some toast and pass the remote? ...

Wednesday, 11 March 2009

Friar Tuck

As the glint of the morning sun caught the balding pate of the chap in front of me at London Bridge station this morning my heart sunk a little knowing that I too look like this from behind.
Despite a full and abundant showing from the front, age, stress and time have caught up with AngryBritain.com and we are losing the battle against baldness. Not in a swish front to back Dracula style, but from back to front like a ringpull on a can of sardines, slowly exposing my age.
A Friar Tuck, if you will.
Trouble is, in AngryBritain's respectable daytime job, a skinhead won't quite cut the mustard. Particularly when there is no apparant or obvious excuse for sporting the 'I-wanna-be-your-drill-instructor' look. So I'm stuck in a Friar Tuck limbo while the circular patch of skin spreads like a bushfire across my scalp and until I can lop it all off and go all Harry Hill.
Despite kind words of support from Twitterers this morning this vasectomy of my outer manhood is neither a sign of my virility, a sunroof for a sex-machine nor my intelligence pushing the follicles out of my head.
I am old, balding and fat.
It's time to buy a sportscar.

Monday, 9 March 2009

Mickey Mouse

They say 'Impersonation is the highest form of flattery' so, when AngryBritain.com received a 'BrokeBritain.com is now following your updates on Twitter' message we were intrigued.
Don't get us wrong, AngryBritain.com is neither scared, nor worried about the competition, we are after all the original, and the best Social Change in Britain site on the Interweb but when we read statements like:
"In fact we urge you not to vote"
AngryBritain says:
Yes, much as you might not like the Government, sadly someone has to be in control. It's how we as a nation manages those through letting them know clearly and intelligently what is and isn't acceptable.
"Throw away your electoral role registration form and get involved with non-violent direct action groups."
AngryBritain says:
Good idea, the right to vote and have a say in who runs the country was easily won by the working classes in the 1800's and later by the likes of Emily Davison who took to the racecourse to win hers. Smashing up a Starbucks isn't going to help.
"We strongly urge people who visit the site from work or from any educational establishment to use an anonymising proxy service or browser."
AngryBritain says:
This is exactly the reason AngryBritain.com adheres to a strict set of rules. If you need to hide behind a browser then we don't need you on our side. Really, seriously, we don't.
We really do wonder whether imitation sites like these are going to help achieve our goals. AngryBritain.com is a place for intelligent debate and well-informed discussion.
To see for yourself (Yes we really are providing links to the competition) log on to www.brokebritain.com and www.englandsvoice.co.uk have a read through and then come on back home to www.angrybritain.com .
Over the course of the next few months AngryBritain.com is going to go through some very exciting changes. Followers of Twitter will know that we have had some very interesting talks with a number of people interested in helping us achieve our goal of making Britain better for all of us. The site will become more user friendly, and hopefully a whole lot more fun. You'll be able to say you were there from the beginning!
So, in the meantime AngryBritain.com thanks you for your continued support and asks you to stick with us and enjoy the ride. Keep the Beef!, and now the Tweef! coming.

Friday, 6 March 2009


09.32 . Some 2 hours and 57 minutes since AngryBritain left home this morning, and we have just arrived at our desks. London Blundergroud struck again this morning in spectacular fashion. Overnight engineering works in the Neasden area bought both the Metropolitan and Jubilee Lines to their knees. No trains running south of Harrow-On-The-Hill, and the lines in chaos from the stations southbound afterwards.
I mean, you know, bearing in mind for 221 days of the year, millions of us pay through the nose for the privilege of being crammed onto the shabby 1960's feat of engineering, was it not a little shortsighted to do engineering work on a Thursday night. 
Good to see that 25% rise in my Oyster fare has improved the service immeasurably.
London Underground. EPIC FAIL!

Monday, 2 March 2009

Not just any credit crunch lunch!

Wow! It can be done. And if the sea of green M&S carrier bags flowing along More London this lunchtime was anything to go by, it seems AngryBritain.com was not the only one to be suckered in by the adverts from M&S this morning for their '£2 Meal Deal.'

Hard times for M&S, or the best bit of marketing ever?. As we sit here munching on a delicious Ham and Mustard Sandwich, Low-Fat (Of course!) Crisps, and tasty drink, I can testify that I shall have a full tum, and be only £2 lighter this lunchtime. 

Nice work M&S. AngryBritain.com salutes you!