Friday, 31 July 2009
Monday, 20 July 2009
Dear Natural Resource Extortionists,
Account Number: xxxxxxxxx
Outstanding Sum - £52.38
In 1876 Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. It was the future, and a means for human beings to communicate with one another from a distance by means of some wire, electricity and witchcraft. In terms of technology back then, this could be compared today to Doc Brown's time-travelling DeLorean in Back to the Future.
Thankfully achieving a speed of 88mph or generating 1.1 Jigawatts of electricity are not necessary to operate the telephone, which makes me wonder why each member of you hapless organisation to whom I have spoken - whilst being mindful of not 'tarring all with the same brush', because some of my best-friends are call centre workers (twitter/efan78) - are apparently completely incapable of using one effectively. Perhaps for fear of altering the time and space continuum, and becoming their own fathers.
Fortunately for you, or perhaps unfortunately depending on your point of view, I who also go by the name of The AngryMan, from the mildly followed AngryBritain.com, am capable of time-travel.
Let me transport you back to the November 17th 2008. Whooooooooosh.
There I am, locking up
And back to about a month ago. I'm talking to someone in
Now don't get me wrong I can see the romance in
To a fortnight ago and I've 'got lucky', I'm speaking to a young lady in your UK call centre who I assume is a hybrid of human and hyena who thought it all rather amusing that I had failed to receive the amended bill - which for the record I am happy to pay - and despite telling her clearly that 'the account is in dispute' and therefore currently uncollectable, that you would be passing my account to a Collection Agency. Oooooooooo. 'I'll send you a revised bill'. She says.
Yes, and i'll find a cure for cancer.
To Friday night, I arrive home from a weary week at work hoping to fall upon the gaze of my 8 week old daughter, Clover, to be rewarded with one of those delicious smiles that money simply can’t buy. Instead I am met by the steely glare of Mrs AngryBritain. 'What's this?' she says. The 'this' to which she refers is a letter from CwC Debt Recovery.
After changing my trousers, I had a lovely weekend. Surprisingly dismissive of my impending jail term.
To today. Having stuffed the letter in my manbag to be dealt with today, I spotted it whilst hunting around for the last furry Polo mint after the boredom of yet another tube journey set in on the way to work. Surprisingly this letter took just 37 minutes to complete on my iPhone including breaks for 'man-scratching' and I would now like to present it, and the attached letter to CwC to you to deal with.
Being a web-ist I've also presented it to the internet, mostly through vanity:
According to Alexa.com, AngryBritain.com currently ranks 3,047,401th most popular site on the internet, and 149,299th most popular site in
Anyhow, do get in touch I'd love to resolve this and even perhaps give you some money.
For the record:
“The account is currently 'in dispute' pending a revised bill and therefore legally unenforceable or collectable”
Check the Consumer Credit Act 1974. A marvelous piece of legislation designed to stop faceless organisations such as you using bully-boy tactics to make amends for crap customer service.
The telephone, the thing
Now, I'm off to see what my kids look like so fire up the DeLorean.
Yours not-particularly faithfully,
Mr D xxxxxxx
aka The AngryMan
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
AngryBritain.com has been approached by a TV company to help them find people who might be interested in taking part in a new TV show. See below:
We are looking for contributors who are currently unemployed* to take part in a screen test for a possible new factual entertainment programme.
It will be to take part in a social enterprise experience where a team of people will work together to run a bakery from scratch. This will be run by, Eamon Fullalove, a former head chef of Jamie Oliver's 'fifteen' restaurant.
We would require you for a one-day shoot in London next week.
If you are interested and would like to know more, then please email me email@example.com.
I shall look forward to hearing from you.
* Unemployed people from all sectors, recently made redundant, bankrupt due losing business, long term unemployed or mothers and fathers trying to return to work.
This is a genuine opportunity to be on TV so please grab it with both hands if you fit the criteria above. Laura is lovely, and got me on The TV Show on C4 a few weeks back. If you're unsure you can always contact AngryBritain via email first: firstname.lastname@example.org
Good luck, sadly we're working otherwise we'd be first in the queue! - Please make sure you mention AngryBritain.com when you contact her!
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Monday, 6 July 2009
As I'm sure most of you are aware AngryBritain could be considered a 'media whore'. We would attend the opening of an envelope at the mearest whiff of a TV camera being there.
Just such an opportunity arose last Thursday when we were invited to attend the filming of C4's 'The TV Show' hosted by the no-nonsense Krishnan Guru-Murthy. It was quite simply a masterclass in journalism and TV done properly.
The topics were swearing on TV and C4's coverage of MJ's death. Yes just in case you missed it AngryBritain's Angry Blog is saddened to inform you that Michael Jackson, is dead.
I'm sure the show is available now on 4oD or online if you want to see what we look like or watch some interesting telly for a change. While time constraints meant we didn't get to say anything we are quite easy to spot. Look for the fat bloke in a black polo shirt, ill advised brown shoes and the glare of the studio lights reflecting off his balding pate. Though we'd like to add that similar afflictions have done Jeremy Clarkson's TV career no harm whatsoever.
We got invited on thanks to Twitter and this really is the point of today's post, the world of news and how its delivered has changed. The internet has enabled the rest of us to get involved. The rise of the celebrity bloggers such as Perez Hilton and Guido Fawkes, and celeb Tweeters such as Krishnan (twitter/krishgm) give us unprecedented access to the media, and them to us. In fact on Friday yours truely got a call from our friends at BBC 5 Live asking for help with a show they were doing. How cool is that?.
For those of us who've hit 30 something and have realised that a career in journalism was what we really wanted when we left school, the internet gives us a chance to practice and a platform for our voice. So log on and get blogging or tweeting. If it can happen for Perez and Guido, it can happen to you.
And maybe even me.
Thursday, 2 July 2009
The King of Pop is dead. Long live The King.
It's been nearly a week now since the shocking news from celeb-ville that Michael Jackson died at home from a massive heart attack leaving a sparkly gloved void in the music industry.
13 number one singles, The biggest selling album of all time, Thriller and sales of 300 million records made Wacko Jacko an icon and a hero to many. Now in death this loyal following will continue on across new generations ironically meaning the huge debts about which we've read will likely be repaid ten times over.
The price of celebrity was high for Jackson. Odd 'skin conditions', odder marriages and questionable choice of company - that lovable chimp and source of much amusement for the press, Bubbles.
But sadly the story by which most of us will remember him are those allegations of child abuse. Jordy Chandler and Gavin Arvizo ultimately saw to Jacko's demise, all the while happily accepting life changing sums of money from the star, the reasons for which we will now never really know.
These allegations and those questionable payments ultimately led to years of demonisation in the press.
Yet look now they hale him a hero, icon and King of Pop.
Michael Jackson 1968-2009