After many years of joyous overspending and freely available credit, and the countless thousands I have paid you in extortionate and ever increasing interest charges over the years, now having cleared the balance in full please find enclosed the plastic bane of my life to dispose of as you see fit.
Yes, that’s right, please close my account arrivederci, ciao-ciao and au revoir to a lifetime of debt and misery
When you sort yourselves out and realise that not lending is going to make you bankrupt and you start lending again, please don’t bug me to borrow or take out another card, I will be too busy pissing your potential interest charges up the wall on fast cars and faster women. If my girlfriend lets me.
Many thanks for nothing over the years
Who’s your daddy bitch?