Alrite Cock!

Chaps, this mornings rant is for you.

Having just been assaulted on the Jubilee Line I'm sure this phenomenon is probably more common than most of us would think, however I don't think I've ever heard it mentioned out loud.

As regular readers will know its not very often AngryBritain gets a seat on his crap commute in on the Tube, but this morning we 'Lucked out'. Or so we thought.

Cue Baker St, and it all went a bit Pete 'Thong'

The doors opened and over HE came. Pigeon chest pushed out as far as possible, beautifully gelled hair sticking out in every conceivable direction, the finest italian leather 'manbag' dissecting a pot belly neatly in two. And, the tightest pair of jeans I think I have ever seen. The fly at 3/4s.

And he made a beeline. For me.

Some 10 seconds after our tightly trousered hero entered the Tube, his incredibly tight crotch entered my face. Eye to Japs eye. And it stayed there winking at me threatening to break free, until Waterloo.

Now AngryBritain is in no way a 'gayist' nor unappreciative of the fact that at the best of times the Tube is a packed and unpleasant bodily fluid emporium but Christ-on-a-bike fellas spare a thought for us other chaps sat near you. A Tube can be a little bit like grown-up game of Twister but it is mostly possible to tuck yourself away in someone's armpit so that once plugged in to your iPod (That's free advertising Apple, so a 32GB iPod Touch would be lovely thanks!), you sort of have your own 'space. So chaps, do the decent thing create that 'space' and be 'cock-aware'.

I don't need an early morning dental floss any more than the lady sat next to me.