Rule the world

'Everybody wants to rule the world' sang Tears for Fears (in my ears) this morning.

And who'd have though it, on a dreary London morning, an 80's pop sensation sums up your life.

We are now at t-minus 19 days and counting until the AngryBaby is scheduled to make an appearance at AngryTowers though judging by the amount of wriggling in Mrs ABs tummy this weekend the little bugger could well bust free early. He (or she) is mad, and he (or she) wants out.

But what awaits my very own wonder of creation (other than dashing good looks, obviously)? What will it's little life have in store?. Will it be chips or jacket spuds?

One things for sure, like you: 

'I can't stand this indecision, coupled with a lack of vision'

Britain is in a right old state bankrupt, immoral and sinking into the sea. That's why perhaps now more so than ever AngryBritain is pushing for a better Britain, not just for my offspring but for all of us. 

We're trying to save it but, we can't do it alone. We NEED you! Today the website stands at approximately 50,000 hits allowing for the erroneous freebie hit counter which has been known to disappear on occasion and only records hits to the main landing page. This figure should really have a couple of extra noughts on it though.

AngryBritain costs time and money to run and we will soldier on all the time we know we've got the nation behind us. Think of it as a return to a green and pleasant land where politeness is the norm, and where kids respect their elders. A return to pride in 'earning' a living and providing for your family.

Simple things in complicated times.

It's not hard to get involved. Phrases like 'Have you seen that website?' 'There's this website which ...' 'There's this bloke on Twitter who has a PIT!' Will be indescribably useful in raising awareness about us.

AngryBritain.com will stop short of asking for donations because that's not what we are about. It's true we are seeking help from the press, VC funding and do sell ad space on the site, and very occasionally this might pop up on the site or in our Twitter feed but allow us that little indulgence to perhaps provide a secure future for the site, and for the AngryBaby.

So get behind us Britain, stay proud of the British way of life. Stay Angry. Tell people about us, get them to visit the website, follow us on Twitter, read the Blog and get involved in the fun stuff like playing the AngryBritain game - www.angrybritain.com/angryfun.html, and on Twitter #moanmonday and the all new PIT!

Let's make AngryBritain a household name just like Tears for Fears, but less naff. We're here, we're now and we're:

'So glad we've almost made it'

Thank you

The Angryman

www.angrybritain.com

www.twitter.com/angrybritain

www.angrybritainblog.blogspot.com

Shame on you

Perhaps AngryBritain is just a little more sensitive to it right now with Mrs AB about to bear fruit, but we can't help but notice the number of pregnant ladies battling to work on the Tube every day.

 

Any commuter into London will sympathise, at the best of times the Tube is a horrific place, cramped, hot, sticky and smelly. If you are really lucky, sometimes you might have an inch of 'personal space' between you and the perspiring Polish builder. Room to breathe. Bad things.

 

On the Jubilee Line at Westminster this morning my gaze fell upon a smartly dressed young ladies bosom, but not for the reason you might think. 'Baby on Board' read the badge on her lapel. A badge bearing the London Underground logo, 'Baby on Board' in clear blue writing above it.

 

Really?, Is this what it's come to?

 

Is Britain today so far removed from common decency that pregnant women, the mothers of our children and the future of Britain, need to wear a badge to identify themselves in the hope that this might persuade someone to offer their seat?.

 

And you know what the sad thing is?. Despite the badge, not one commuter offerred.

 

Shame on you Britain.

 

It goes without saying that had AngryBritain had a seat, he would have offerred it without hesitation. However, this morning we were comfortably tucked-up. In the perspiring Polish builders armpit. Which was nice.

 

AngryBritain is calling for a return to common decency at rush hour tonight. If you see this smartly dressed mum-in-waiting, or any other lady wearing a 'Baby on Board' badge, or one who you might suspect is pregnant (they are quite easy to spot, they look like ladies, with bigger tummies). Get your big, fat, lazy, immoral behind out of your cosy seat and offer it to her.

 

If you don't AngryBritain will find you. Capiche?

Home schooled

'Please ask your child to bring a box of tissues for communal use this week', were the words staring back at AngryBritain from the brightly coloured blue letter the 6yr old brought home from school on Friday. 

'Pardon?'

Horrified we sought solace in Twitter only to find that this wasn't unusual in today's education system. Tales of requests for sanitary wipes, left-handed scissors and picking up children from remote locations after school trips due to cost of bringing them back, were all fired at me across the Twitterverse.

Funny, but I was under the impression that we pay taxes to fund our children's education. No?.

One presumes that due to the increased cost of kitchens and new sofas for MPs, there is no longer sufficient budget remaining to provide basic items to complete a school day. Are we then, just one step away from actually teaching our children ourselves?.

I'm sure many other parents, like AngryBritain, also begrudge the mounted assault upon family time in the  evenings and at weekends. 'Read this with your child' 'Make that'. 'Donate, Donate, Donate'.

Only a couple of weeks ago AngryBritain found himself creating an Easter Bunny out of recycled Diet Coke cans (which was rather good, even if I do say so myself - see pic). This took up most of the weekend, while the 6yr old played Wii and looked on nonchalantly, her part done upon handing over the letter and cutting  some string for whiskers.

As many of you will know AngryBritain is less than 4 weeks away from becoming a dad. The daily battle to and from the office means I won't see the AngryBaby before I go to work. And if I'm lucky, and the Tube behaves, I may see my child for 15 minutes before bedtime. For those in any doubt, teachers or Education Ministers reading - This is not ok.

Parents go to work, teachers teach. That's how its always been. Parents go to work to provide for their children, so they can do nice things together in the evenings and at weekends. And pay the teachers wages. Children grow up fast.

Family time is precious. Let's keep it that way.

Not very clever

Ever been called 'not very clever' by someone in 'customer services'. No, me neither. Until today. Marbles Card appears foolishly to have just declared digital-war with AngryBritain.com.

 

The call was recorded for training and security purposes. They had an hour to respond. They chose to ignore it.

 

Let battle commence. See the first salvo below.

You saw it here first!

Viagra smugglers dump stash in the Thames!

Hope St.

If you read this column last week you'll know that AngryBritain had a little run in with the West Herts NHS Trust. Round 2 was duly scheduled for yesterday and we arrived bright and early for Mrs AB's appointments.

 

What a difference.

 

The first was with a lovely lady. Full of experience, wisdom and most importantly humility to Mrs AB's concerns. She listened, answered our questions, told us the no-nonsense facts about what we had requested and genuinely seemed to have the AngryBaby's best interests at heart. She listened, she listened hard and we appreciated it.

 

The second, was a kindly older gentleman. Just by looking at him you could tell he had bedside manner honed over many years of dealing with pregnant women like Mrs AB. He too listened to what she had to say, again told her the facts, offerred time to think about things and then left the door open for her to see him again before the AngryBaby makes an appearance.

 

Both of these people, in AngryBritain's opinion, did their jobs with the utmost care and professionalism, unlike the person last week who coldly shut the door.

 

These two have restored some of AngryBritain's faith in the NHS. There are still good people in the service, battling against the odds and bureaucracy to provide genuine patient care. You'll find a few of them on Twitter, and if you have an account you should have a look at @LucyKD @drsimonc @EmmaRhoyds

 

I'm sure a few of you caught The Hospital again last night on C4. This week it was the obese seeking surgery to cure their 'illness'. The upshot, gastric bands being given out like Smarties to people who could really just stop eating cake.

 

With this sort of madness, I guess it isn't really any wonder the NHS is in such a mess and some of those working within it have all but given up. But all the time people like the two Mrs AB and I saw yesterday, and those medical Twitterers are still working at hospitals around the UK, you never know, there might just still be hope.

NHS - No Help Service

'No'. 'No, I'm not agreeing to it, there's no medical reason'.

 

And that was that.

 

As regular readers will know AngryBritain is expecting, well not AngryBritain himself, though looking at his gut hanging over the top of his trousers you might think otherwise. Mrs AB is very pregnant, and a mere 4 weeks away from giving me my son, or daughter, and heir to this crap island.

 

Mrs AB you might say, is a bit of a hottie. Cute, gorgeous, petit and blonde with a peachy bum. In fact too good for a old, fat, balding misery-guts like me. To most outsiders one of those couples who you see and ask 'What's she doing with him? ...'

 

The AngryBaby is already showing traits from it's dad judging by the size of the bump poor Mrs AB is carrying around. Without going into too much detail the logistics of this human miracle don't appear to add up so we have a birth plan which we would very much like to stick too. And in this age of Patient Choice, we wrongly assumed that our decision would, while initially be fought, ultimately be agreed leading to a safe, calm and planned birth.

 

Determined not to fall at the first hurdle the AngryMan annonymously fought Mrs ABs case, pointing out the Patient Choice Charter and demanded a second opinion. Like a scolded schoolboy the consultant begrudingly agreed and Round 2 is early next week. We will be seeing the consultant midwife, then a further consultant who will hopefully agree to our request.

 

Some of you may have caught 'The Hospital' again on Channel 4 the other night. This particular episode followed teen-pregnancy 'victims'. Star of the show was 'Lisa' the overweight benefit-claiming chain-smoker who was offerred as much care as she needed, in the way she requested. And a house afterwards.

 

AngryBritain presumes that different NHS Trusts have different views on such matters and that the West Herts NHS Trust is a closed book on this matter. For now.

 

As an aside the AngryMan had to give his blood type. It seems we are B Positive. Oh, the irony.