Strictly Sod-Off

'Hang your dirty knickers on the line'.

 

Somewhat unsuprisingly McBroon and his cronies have resorted to 'juvenile' and unfounded smear tactics as they watch themselves lose their grip on power, and the cold hard reality of life in Britain today.

 

While the rest of us travel to jobs we hate, worried about how we will feed and clothe our children and whether we will still have jobs to go to tomorrow, behind closed doors at LabourHQ plans were afoot to concoct stories about the sex lives and mental health of Cameron and Co. in the blue corner.

 

'Spin doctor' McBride obviously had one too many in the Commons bar that day, on expenses, and set to work with the interweb. Presumably surfing YouPorn and LabourList before firing off a few choice words to the husband of Kate-Strictly-Bad-Ballroom-Garraway, Derek Draper.

 

Draper, no doubt feeling inferior to his TV-totty wife, saw his chance to take to the floor and perform a few spins of his own. Like a 'Red Rag' to a bull.

 

Unfortunately for them both, it never quite came off. Thanks to blogger Paul 'Guido Fawkes' Staines who received copies of these emails and broke the story on his blog (http://www.order-order.com/) the pages of the papers are filled with this sordid tale, opening Britain's eyes yet-again to the murky world of Number 10.

 

AngryBritain thinks it's a bit of the shame that the Red Rag blog McBride and Draper devised never got going: 

 

'Cameron has secret 4x4, 'Osbourne has crack and whore habit', Brown IS the Messiah ...

 

If there was a weekly phone vote for the Government we are pretty sure McBroon and his chums would have been voted off years ago and we very much doubt they would ever have been Brucie's favourites.

CashCow

It's taken me all day but I've found just the very thing to blog about. Part time working, bailouts and redundancies are common news these days for both UK and foreign car manufacturers. Uncertain jobs and futures are part of production line life as are stockpiles of unsold cars sit in holding areas across the UK.

 

AngryBritain, with his imminent arrival less than 5 weeks away, needs a bigger car to accomodate all the stuff that a little person requires on a jaunt out. Mrs AB has had the majority say in the final selection as it will be her who does the lions share of driving. Mrs AB is not easily impressed nor bothered about her choice of wheels. Not since her dream car, a Mini convertible was found to have the boot the size of a childs lunchbox and therefore dismissed until Baby AB is old enough to need only a Child Seat.

 

To cut a long story short the Nissan Cashcow seems to fit the bill, she's happy, I'll be happy at weekends. It has a boot big enough for both pushchair and shopping, and enough power not to have a man with a flag walking in front of it. As a little AngryBritain bonus, it's also a 'British car', designed and built in Britain, by Britons. Albeit with a Japanese badge on the nose.

 

So this bank-holiday weekend the hunt began in earnest. Variants were driven, spec choices made, part-ex's sorted and budgets discussed. Naturally we went to our local Nissan dealer (No names. Watford) and expected them, in this period of deep recession, to bite our hands off.

 

Not so.

 

Never before have I experienced such apathy, nor the sense that I was 'doing them a favour' whilst attempting to buy said £19,000 'cow. As a regular punter I offerred both a realistic budget expectation and a willingness to be sold to, but neither of these have so far resulted in me signing on the line.

 

As a dealer, the days of naming your sticker-price for cars is long gone. The internet has become a powerful and potent weapon in hunting down the deal you want. So that's what AngryBritain did, finding 2 examples of the same new vehicle on offer for £2000 less than my local friendly dealer.

 

As it stands currently despite this they won't budge, nor will I.

 

Is it any wonder car workers across the country are losing their jobs overnight?

 

Hmmm.

Can you dig it?

'Can you dig it?' sung the Mock Turtles into my ipod-ed-ears this morning as the escalator reached skyward into London Bridge station. The dreary trudge into the office on dirty public transport in complete contrast to the happy chilled out days of my early 20's when the Mock Turtles were 'in'.

 

Back then I had money in my pocket, a mobile phone the size of Paris, a tank full of petrol and hardly a care in the world. Life was good then and full of opportunity. The world was Brtiain's Oyster.

 

'Things can only get better' eh?

 

Fast forward 15 years and look where we are now. A broken shell of country, immoral, debt-ridden and so it would seem without a light at the end of the tunnel. Just look around you today, can you see one happy face in your office?. One person who knows their future is secure and that Britain is still full of promise?. No?, me neither.

 

You may have caught 'The Hospital' on Channel 4 last night. For me Britain today was summed-up by the drunk driver and his pals. On the night of the incident, not a Policeman in sight dealing with this smirking idiot nor seemingly a drop of remorse for tearing the back of his friends head off and nearly killing him.

 

Jump forward six months and both he and his almost-dead friend are back the pub. The drunk driver having lost his licence and been fined, now having a jolly good laugh about the whole thing. And the best bit, the half-dead friend looking forward to his sizeable insurance payout. What a jolly jape eh? ...

 

So how do we change it? AngryBritain.com doesn't have all the answers, for that we need you. We need to know what's wrong with Britain today from you the people it affects daily, and we need people to know about it. Please keep sending us your 'Beef' to angryman@angrybritain.com or via Twitter @AngryBritain and do tell your friends and colleagues about us. If you want to read what others have already said log on to www.angrybritain.com/beef.html 

 

We've sent a link to this blog post to both the hospitals featured in the programme last night, a little support to show them Britain does care and that we do appreciate the amazing work they do.

 

'Can you dig it?' maybe not, but you can certainly help make it better. AngryBritain.com

Lame Duck

This morning AngryBritain.com salutes the Anticapi-enviromentalists who were out in force on the streets of London yesterday causing havoc. Not.

The sum total of this warned Armageddon, a broken window of an empty branch of RBS. The bank 'we the people' now own. Well researched soap-dodgers.

The tube this morning had returned to normality, pinstripes, FT's and Rolex's in abundance, not I suspect from defiance of the mob, but from the laughable apathy towards yesterdays protests. So ineffectual were they that no-one cares today. Just like AngryBritain predicted.

Today the Angry Mob will attempt to descend upon the G20 Delegates at Excel where no doubt they will try to do something wild, like drop litter or smoke. And good luck to them, AngryBritain.com is sure it will really change the world.

Poor Effort. Must try harder. A very lame duck.

Cleaners to Platform 15

There appears to be some rubbish amassed at Liverpool St outside UBS ...

Please clear it away quickly, it's making the most terrible smell down there!

www.angrybritain.com

Defcon 1

This is a shot across the bows to all the tree-hugging-soap-dodgers heading to London tomorrow to cause havoc in the name of greed and the planet.

AngryBritain.com, like a few million others, travels into the smog-filled City on packed public transport everyday, not so that we can bathe in Cristal and puff on fat stogies, it's merely so we can pay our bills.

Like most working Londoners, AngryBritain.com is not a six-figure fat cat, so don't waste your time and effort on the likes of us.

Smashing up a Starbucks isn't going to help either. Think about it logically, how much do all those franchises full of foreign workers paying tax - because the likes of you, the soap-dodging-benefit-cheats, are too busy fannying about in London lighting Joss-Sticks outside the Bank of England, to do perfectly good jobs like that - contribute to the desperate UK economy?.

Nobody cares what you think, and two days of throwing toys publicly out of your prams isn't going to change a single thing. Not one iota. In fact all you will achieve is to suck a further £7m we don't have out of the economy to Police your stupidity. And delay the tube network.

Those of us allowed to go to work tomorrow will be in disguise and mixing amongst you, so watch out!.

If you spot someone cleary too old to be on a skateboard grinding around City Hall in civvies tomorrow, AngryBritain.com may well be among you.

Come say hi, I've got soap and a baseball bat shaped tree for you to hug.

Compare the Meerkat

I saved over £100 by comparing Meerkats! - Genuinely, I did.

So yesterday my car insurance renewal from Elephant dropped through the letterbox. This is my very favorite time of year. Another faultless (touch wood) year of traversing the congested camera-ridden roads of Britain to be rewarded with an increased renewal premium. Lovely.

For about as long as I can remember I have been insured with either Elephant or Admiral. A top money-saving-crunch-busting tip for those of you that don't already know is the Elephant and Admiral are in fact, the same company.

By flipping between the two each year you can almost guarantee yourself a massive saving yet effectively dealing with the very same cardboard Admiral or the equally crap man-in-an-Elephant-suit. (Probably the same bit-part actor!)

To confirm this I Compared the Meerkat last night, and cheapo-number 1 insurance was indeed on offer from Admiral. 

Hurrah for Meerkats! £100 extra to spend on beer. Or nappies.

God, what a crap blog post. Sorry. Good pic though.